Seen and Heard: 7, in all its glory

I often say that Michael is 7 in all its glory. Here are a few reasons why…

 

Michael in the maternity section at Target.

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Michael: “I still remember when I lived in your tummy. When I was an egg, I was right here. <points to my belly button> Then, when I hatched, I tumbled right down over here and that’s where I stayed. I was so cozy! The goo was so warm. And I was never hungry! I remember when Leah was born, she kicked me right before she got pulled out.”

Michael: “You’re still coming to college with me, right Mama?”

—————

Michael: “Mommy, you don’t remember the parental control password, do you?”

Me: “Why? What are you doing?”

Michael: “I am trying to get on LegalZoom.”

Me: “What? Why would you need to go to LegalZoom?”

Michael: “I’m setting up my alligator catching business.”

Me: “Ahh. Well, when you’re 7, you don’t have to do all that paperwork to set up a business.”

Michael “Great! I’ll just send out postcards to advertise! <pause> Once my business is up and going, I am going to need a jet ski for better access to the alligators.”

Writing a screenplay with Charlie.

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Paw-Paw showing Michael my high school senior picture: “Isn’t your mommy beautiful?”

Michael: “Mmmmm…. not really. So so. I don’t like her hair like that. It’s too big!”

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Michael: “Mama, I love you. I’ve told you that a million times, but that’s OK because I love you a million.”

Me: “I love you right back.”

Michael: “You love me a billion.”

Unattended donuts will be sampled.

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Michael: “I always tell people to call me if they see a snake, but no one ever calls me.”

Me: “What would you do if they called you?”

Michael: “Go catch the snake!!! My business is a dangerous reptile removal service!!! Now, if they call me about an adult anaconda, I’m going to need a helicopter. You really shouldn’t even mess with a baby anaconda – they are crazy fast! Crazy fast on land and crazy fast in water! And their bite is no joke!”

Grossing out his sister.

First time at the ballet. Please note false enthusiasm.

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Michael – from the back seat as we are driving into town: “Look!!! I’m necked in the car!!! I’m necked in the car!!! I’m necked in the car!!! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!”

Leah: “MICHAEL!!! GET YOUR CLOTHES ON!!! <exasperated> Mommy, he really is naked.”

Cheese!

A photo of my flat, Andrew’s flip flops and Leah’s boots that Michael apparently took during church.

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Michael – watching a documentary about early civilization and the Hebrew language: “Mama! They’re talking about the Baptists – God’s chosen people!”

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Me: “Michael!!! Stop that and get in the house!”

Michael: “But I love to pee in snow! It melts!”

Michael with his new buddy, Wyatt, and their “mean” teacher.
(You’re buying that, right?)

—————

Michael – headed upstairs: “I am going to set up my office.”

—————

Michael was telling Nana that she is always sweet and Nana replied, “Oh, I bet your Mommy is like that, too.”

Michael – incredulous: “Ya think?!?!?! You should come to our house at bed time. Mommy is not sweet!

Still my sweet baby.

 

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