Grace for the win…

I think it’s time for us married people to huddle up and bust out our best cheers for better marriages and stronger families. Please hear me out: Marriage is hard. It may be different for you than for me, but none of us are lounging on bear skin rugs sipping wine in front of a roaring fire… Can we agree on that?

The news recently has shined a spotlight on infidelity. It makes me wish all these families who are reeling in heartbreak could suit up and rush the football field, busting through a paper banner that says F-A-M-I-L-Y so we could cheer for them and wave posters that say, We are rooting for you guys!!!

I think it matters how your friends respond when things are hard. Personally, I love it when my friends say, I love your family. It’s a different sentiment than just loving me. It tells me they are rooting for all four of us – for our little team. I keep thinking how meaningful it would be for every marriage in crisis to hear their friends and family say, We love you both. In the case of infidelity it means, We don’t think you’re pathetic for trying to forgive and stay together – and – We know sometimes good people make terrible mistakes. We need to cheer for the quarterback AND the running back because a Family wins or loses as a team.

For Bryan and me, the biggest struggle we face is an illness that wants to beat us down. Your struggles may be totally different, but to paraphrase Voltaire, you can’t pull out a scale and measure another man’s grief. It’s all hard, people. Marriage in all its forms is an enormous act of faith – and endurance. You and I don’t really want to swap out all our heartaches and problems, do we?

thewaywemet 1

Today, Bryan and I were featured on the Instagram account The Way We Met. I love our story and I love Bryan very much, but if you think we have it all figured out then you are nuts.

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The pressure-cooker of an incurable disease does not make a marriage easier. What does make it better is God’s faithfulness. He has never let us fall through his fingers and He never will. We see His love shining through our friends and family and it fills us up. I cannot over-state what that means for our lives. I want that kind of love and grace and encouragement for all these families dealing with whatever it may be.

I think we all need each other. Are you in?

5 thoughts on “Grace for the win…

  1. Yes, yes, and yes! Great post. I just visited with a couple from church who we have grown to love. The husband is in the final stages of liver cancer. This couple is the epitome of marriage to me and I have enjoyed watching them together these last few years. The wife is unsure of how she will go on after he dies, but I know she is strong and she will. But that feeling is such a testimony to a life well lived together, don’t you think? You and Bryan do have it a little tougher than most. I feel like I can say that watching what my parents went through and how hard my dad’s disease was on all of us. It can easily tear you down, but you guys have chosen a different path. I appreciate your example of love. And we love all of you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Tara. I was just talking about you with a friend the other day. Your experience with your dad – and the beautiful life you live without having lost it or gone crazy – gives me great hope that Leah and Michael will be alright even though we can’t buffer their childhood the way every parents wants to.

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